A. You should remember that the person whom you inflicted harm upon is still suffering from the harm you did to him or her. An apology is your share, and forgiveness is his or her share. You should not think that your apology will easily undo what you did. A true apology is to understand your victim’s mind that can’t forgive you and wait until his or her wound is healed with the pain and bad memory fading away.
In Buddhism, seeing one’s own suffering as empty is wisdom, and seeing others’ suffering as one’s own is compassion. You should see your mental stress from being unforgiven as empty and your opponent’s suffering as yours.
©Boo Ahm
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